The List

Title: The List
Author (including email): Blue Gold
Pairings: L/E, L/E/E, L/B, L/H, L/F, A/A (implied)
Rating: R
Summary: Aragorn muses on Legolas’ adventures with the fellowship and what is going on in the prince’s mind.
Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the characters involved and I’m making no profit from this.
Warnings: none
Authors Note: Well I wrote this yesterday on the train and decided to share. It’s all in Aragorn’s point of view. It hasn’t been beta read so please excuse my mistakes. Also excuse any canon error it’s been about three years since I’ve touched ROTK. As always feedback is welcome

In Mirkwood you were all business. I hadn’t even known you were a prince. You took the strange creature under your personal watch. I was in such a rush I never realized what it truly meant. I knew you had stolen my heart in that brief moment but what was a ranger to do? I was just another face to you. Little did I know you knew me, my line, my rank, and my soul.

In Rivendell you arrived alone and everyone paid you the utmost respect and I watched in awe. They were all so polite but it wasn’t until Ada called you Prince that I realized what it meant. That night I wanted to speak to you. I searched for you and there you were. At one of the secluded waterfalls bathing in the moonlight. You were standing waist deep in the water. Your back was turned to me and you were wringing excess water from your hair.

I was building my courage to approach you when it happened. He was the first, my brother. He had just come back from hunting Orcs with Elladan. He stared at you unashamedly. I was surprised you didn’t turn. But then you surprised me. Elrohir had been pulling at all the ties and clasps to his armor as he approached the pool and now when you stepped out of the water and I could no longer breathe, your fingers barely seemed to touch him but the armor and clothing fell off.

You led him into the water but it was he who spun you around and kissed you. When he pulled you to him his hands disappearing at in the water at your back I left. I ran, I didn’t apologize, or warn Elladan when I ran into him. He looked at me annoyed as he balanced the food he was carrying and continued on his way.

I sighed as I entered my room alone that night. I could not be angry with my brothers. I should be ashamed of myself. I was spying on an elf’s private bath and I wanted to betray Arwen. I would not do this. We would be two parts of the fellowship no more.

Boromir. He took a dear memory to wherever it is we mortals go when we pass. Again that night I played the spy. We had set up camp and Gimli was on watch. I had sent you and Boromir to gather firewood for our meal that night. When the hobbits grew restless and hungry I went in search of the two of you. My sword drawn in fear of foul play. When I found you, your legs were wrapped around Boromir’s waist and he had you propped up against a tree. Your hands were on his shoulder and your mouth was open in a silent O of ecstasy. Your eyes were shut tight yet again I ran blindly. I gathered some wood but by the time I arrived back at the camp you and Boromir had returned. You nodded in my direction a small smile when you saw the wood.

Haldir, the march warden of Lorien. I hadn’t seen him in quite some time. Silver haired and such arrogance you would think he was the royalty. That was some thing I liked about you. You never used your status or your rank. You seemed more willing to forget it. Until we all had to walk blindfolded to the lord and lady.

For Haldir you screamed, cried, and called out his name. You left me with such a bulge in my leggings and I was on the ground. I saw none of this but you still effected me. That same night you came to us dressed in silver on your way to a bath. It was as if that night in Rivendell came to assault me all over again. You stayed with us and no one, not even Gimli, had the courage to mention the screams and I wondered if you didn’t do it on purpose.

Edoras, home of the horse lords. Here it was I who met with my second temptation. You didn’t touch anyone here. We were together until they evacuated. At Helms Deep Haldir returned and you seemed so happy. But it seems as if the gods want to toy with me. I went to get a look at the weapons and there you were bent over an Anvil biting on your hand to keep from screaming.

When I told you he fell you seemed to have no reaction. You accepted it with almost no feeling. But what did I expect? I had seen you give yourself to everyone but me and I was greatly starting to dislike this prince who toyed with hearts.

Elladan and Elrohir returned as we neared Gondor. That was a sight I could have spent my mortal life without seeing. You taking Elladan as Elrohir claimed you. Would they be so willing if they knew? How empty you were?

Lately I’ve come to wonder what is this deep friendship you have with Gimli. What a pair you two would be.

Another thought that comes unbidden more and more to me, would you scream for me? You didn’t for Boromir. You didn’t for my brothers, you didn’t for Faramir. Faramir I almost forgot him. Was that a special elven healing technique? I would ask Ada but I think he would take offense.

Why are you looking at me so? As if you can see the road my thoughts have taken me. You are here to congratulate Arwen and I formally, how long now have I been lost in thought.

For the first time since I saw your empty reaction to Haldir’s passing I look you in the eye. You’re smiling but there is something wrong. I can see it in your gray eyes. ‘GRAY’ they were a shining blue when we met, what is this?

Arwen prods me and I know now I’ve held you too long, I release your arm you’re staying to replant Minas Tirth. You swore to stay until my passing but why? On the quest your bow was sworn to the ring bearer, why swear such an oath to me now?

I will never understand you. But I’ve become g lad to have never loved you to give my heart to such a thing would have bore me little but pain.

“Many thanks, Legolas.” You tilt your head towards me as if that wasn’t what you expected me to say but you have no more words for me. I turn to Arwen and there are tears shining in her eyes.

“He’s fading,” she whispers and I shake my head. What grief could you have? Many elves will be joining you and as I saw you won’t be lacking for lovers. What does one with no heart morn? Then why wouldn’t you leave? Being mortal may be affecting you more then I believed my love.

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