Author: Blue Gold
Pairings: Clark/Lex, Chloe/Justin,
Summary: A certain group makes a detour to Kansas on their way to the rest of the world.
Disclaimer: I *sniff* do not any of the characters in this story
Spoilers: General All Episodes,
Authors Notes: Same universe as Rain, takes place the summer after Rain and the Xmen visit. A BTVS/ Smallville crossover. Post chosen by a few months.
Chloe ran through the mansion in a near panic. Ian, both of him were off taking college classes at Met U for the summer. Lex had arranged for Justin to visit a specialist to deal with what that first fool of a doctor had done to his hand.
Dick had finally accepted one of Bruce’s invitations and had left the night before. The others were scattered around, some still in Smallville some not but she didn’t know who else to turn to. Her only other choice, Alicia was in Spain this week with her father. She had mastered long distance teleportation and was using it to take him on a vacation through Europe returning some nights to Smallville others they just enjoyed in the country.
Come August they were all heading to Egypt for an expedition on something Lex had found that may help Clark understand his past though he wasn’t all that interested in the aliens that had dumped him. She had to admit Clark was much happier and more open than he used to be. Though he still hadn’t told his parents about Lex and his relationship they knew everything else.
Slowing down she thought for a moment and headed for the logical place. The media room. Approaching the door she heard laughter and felt almost bad for interrupting them.
“Lex!” Clark laughed and Chloe could just make out the subdued tones of Lex though not the words. Pushing the doors open she stepped in and froze. Lex’s head was thrown back on the couch the screen forgotten as Clark’s head bobbed between Lex’s legs.
“Chloe!” Lex gasped looking up startling Clark who peddled rapidly backwards falling onto his butt in an almost perfect debauched image, swollen lips, tousled hair, erection straining in his jeans, legs splayed wide.
She backed quickly out of the room and went to hide in Lex’s office, trying very hard not to think of what she saw or how good it looked. She didn’t even realize she had gotten a bottle of water out of Lex’s fridge and was using it to cool herself when the boys entered the room. Clark still pink, Lex as if nothing happened.
“Did you need something Chloe?” Lex asked calmly.
“The door of my car…it came off.”
“Fell off? Really? I would have expected better of Toyota. Even in their mass produced assembly line process they are usually up to some standards.”
“No Lex, I opened the door and it always jams a little so I pulled really hard and it just came off! I ripped the door off Clark style.”
“Was it heavy?” Clark asked.
“It…I don’t know I was so shocked I dropped it,” Chloe admitted. Clark walked over to the fireplace and pulled out a poker.
“I can’t bend that; I’m the normal one remember?”
“No Chloe Clark is right if you can bend the poker you have enhanced strength. If not well Toyota is getting a lawsuit.”
Chloe frowned but took the poker, holding it out in front of her she attempted to bend it and gasped when the material folded in on itself.
“Any exposure to meteor rock you want to tell me about?” Clark asked with a grin as Lex took a paper weight and threw it at the back of her head. Chloe spun and caught it staring at Lex.
“Lex!” Clark exclaimed.
“Any fire from your eyes?” Lex asked calmly.
“No! And no meteor rock exposure! You think I’m a mutant mutant? You think that stupid Jean would come back?”
“I doubt it, when I talked to Charles he said it was puberty and stress that usually brought on the change. You would have been a mutant a dozen times over already.” Lex said. “Do you want to stay? Clark and I were going to watch a movie.”
“That’s what you wacky kids are calling it?” Chloe asked just to watch the blush spread on Clark’s face and wasn’t disappointed. Though she was shocked to see a small splash of color on Lex’s face. “Clark is really good for you. You’re acting your age.”
Lex smirked but said nothing. Clark blushed again, though he walked over to Chloe and tossed an arm around her shoulders. “Really, we were going to watch a movie, Lex had other ideas.”
“I’m sure he did.”
Before they could move there was a flash of light and three people appeared in the office. One sitting on the floor, the other two standing.
“Willow I thought you said this was a locate spell not a teleportation spell,” the only male of the group whined, tossing his black hair out of his eye, one eye covered in a patch.
“Yeah Wills, somehow I don’t think we’re in Cleveland anymore.”
“Uh guys,” Xander said pointing to the trio staring at them.
“Uh hi,” Willow said standing with a hand from Xander. “At least I was working on the map for the United States,” Willow said softly looking at her friends.
“What are you doing here?” Clark asked.
“Buffy I can feel it its her,” Willow said pointing to Chloe.
“Okay, well I guess we can wing it, Hi I’m Buffy the Vampire Slayer.” Xander laughed and Willow giggled. “Guys!”
“Sorry its just…” Xander laughed.
“It does sound really bad doesn’t it,” Buffy admitted with a grin. “Okay do over. Hi I’m Buffy, this is Xander, and our friend Willow. Okay, so a couple of weeks ago Willow went super witchy and activated all the slayers on the planet. She was supposed to be casting a spell to light up all the slayers on a magical map that would anyway seems even being all goddess like doesn’t stop the occasional Willow snafu. So like where are we anyway?”
“We’re in Kansas!” Willow exclaimed bouncing. “You think we could see a farm? You think there are demons in Kansas?”
“Willow,” Xander said with a small smile tossing an arm around the witch. “Let Buffy finish.”
“Okay, anyway, yeah so the spell, basically every girl that would be a slayer is now a slayer. Instant upgrade for all potentials.”
“So I’m a potential?”
“Well slayer now,” Buffy said with a smile. “One girl in all the world…yada yada…”
“Buffy! Giles wanted you to memorize that!” Willow exclaimed.
“Wills you’re the only one who ever liked homework besides we changed the rules, one gang in all the world just doesn’t have the same ring. It hasn’t been one girl since we were 15.”
“Yep that us, breakers of prophecies and rules and all that. First rule we decided to break was the whole destiny crap. We’ll teach you to be a slayer, fight, handle your strength yada, but if you totally want to stay in mini town Kansas, go to college and be like an on call slayer for just like the major apocalypse and only if we need like every single slayer. Willow’s also working on a spell to turn people back into potentials. But yeah work in progress but we can put you on the power down list if that is what you want too.”
“Did she breathe when saying that?” Chloe asked Clark and Lex who shook their heads.
“Sorry, this is all my fault. We were gonna have speeches and we weren’t even supposed to start going out until the next week. But then the spell went all crappy,” Willow huffed blowing some hair out of her face.
“So what exactly is a slayer?” Lex asked finally able to make his way through some of Buffy’s babble.
“Short blond girls?” Clark asked with a grin and Chloe whacked his arm.
“Hey! That hurt!” Clark exclaimed.
“Stop being a baby, I can’t hurt you.”
“Actually you could probably break his arm. If you were trying,” Xander said with a shrug. “Slayer strength and all that, some old guys a long time ago thought it was a good idea to give one girl some extra strength, some bad dreams and a six month life span, because really one girl and all the demons on the planet? Are they stupid? Well yeah I guess they were, anyway, Wills here, super witch, changed the rules, one girl to every girl. We’re building a compound and everything. One here in Cleveland one in Merry ol’ England.”
“Okay he made sense,” Chloe said.
“Buff’s picked up the Willow babble, it comes and goes with me. Besides, I’m the one going to Africa. I know the speech more or less in a couple different languages.”
“So We’re Buffy, Willow, and Xander, who are you guys?” Buffy asked eyeing Clark in a way that had Lex step between Clark and Buffy.
“Lex.” Clark sighed.
“Oh! Oh!” Willow said grinning. “Buffy he’s taken.”
“Oh sorry,” she said turning to Chloe who laughed.
“Nope, not mine. I like my life thanks,” Chloe said with a smile.
“Lex wouldn’t hurt you.”
“No Clark he would pay someone a lot of money to do it for him.”
“So I’m gonna guess, Clark, Chloe, Lex?” Xander deadpanned.
“Yeah sorry,” Clark said with a shrug.
“So, your rich huh?” Buffy said eyeing Lex.
“Yes?” He asked eyes going hard.
“Ooo he’s glaring. Come on, wouldn’t you want to fund your own girl superhero, world saving team?”
“Buffy, just because the new council didn’t approve your shopping budget,” Willow sighed.
“Why? I need slay clothes, you got your witchy stuff and computers, Xander got all his weapons.”
“Well if you didn’t insist on wearing all your nice stuff to slay,” Willow started.
“If I didn’t wear nice stuff to slay when would I dress nice? We can’t all be like Faith does she even take those leather pants off?”
“I think she was wearing jeans,” Xander offered. “Take it up with the new council. Its only one guy,” he added with a smirk.
“Giles won’t listen to me! He told me to shop at Kmart! Kmart!”
“Buff, I thought your inner Cordelia had died? Use your paycheck. As the longest living, senior and last of the called slayers you are getting a pretty chunk.”
“But I’ll be in Italy! Italy! The clothes!” Buffy whined.
Chloe, Lex, and Clark exchanged a look watching the trio. “How long til they remember us?” Chloe asked with a grin.
“I’ll make popcorn,” Clark said disappearing in a flash and returning with the foil pan Lex had purchased to help him better focus the heat vision, after an embarrassing moment in Lex’s bed room.
They trio was getting the first bit of popcorn when Xander noticed. “Food!” He exclaimed rushing over.
“Xander you just ate!”
“Not much you try fighting twenty teen slayers for dinner.”
“Xander…” Willow started.
“That’s an interesting name. Where’d it come from?” Chloe asked.
“Willow, Alexander was just too hard for her. No idea why Alex didn’t happen but hey Xander works.”
“So does Lex for some people,” Chloe said with a grin. “What does this slayer thing mean really?”
“Nothing too bad anymore, I died twice, its about time someone had a choice. But even if you don’t want to save the world, or want the power down how about some training so accidents don’t happen and you don’t do anything unexplainable or hurt the cute but squishy human.”
“Chloe can’t hurt me,” Clark piped up.
“Clark, I ripped the door off my car.”
“That’s not too bad,” Clark said easily.
“Easy for you to say, Mr. I’ve been strong forever. I give you my peanut butter jars.”
“I give them to Buffy, or the nearest slayer,” Xander piped in.
“What would this training entail?”
“Well we were thinking, like a summer boot camp thing for part timers. On location for girls after school if they are too far away from the school and need training right away. We’d send a senior slayer and a watcher trainee for something like that,” Xander explained.
“Well I don’t know, we’re going to Egypt in August, and I can handle the strength thing, I have help here. I wouldn’t mind saving the world, but I really don’t want to move in with a bunch of girls.”
“Well we could stay a couple days?” Willow questioned her friends.
“Wills, and ditch all the scary planning? All the crazy slayers? Just the scoobies? Count me in!” Xander grinned.
“Is there a mall?” Buffy asked and her friends chuckled.
“Guys, you totally have to check out my room,” Buffy began.
“Buff wait til you see the kitchen.”
“Shh, they’re talking about us,” she said glowing slightly her hair lighter but not white.
“Come on Lex they seemed nice.”
“Nice Clark? And you want me to believe in Vampires and demons?”
“Well Lex this is Smallville. It would explain Kyla.”
“Yeah it would, after the Justin incident we were checking who in our group really was exposed or just thought they were. Kyla had nothing. She’s not even from Smallville. She came to research some caves for her Grandfather. By the way Clark she’s getting really mad that you keep putting that off.”
“It doesn’t matter; I’m not some mystical warrior who’s visited before.”
“Well it could tell you something about your people.”
“Yeah well I don’t want to meet my so called people. They were jerks. I mean they dumped me surrounded by something that can kill me. If my parents hadn’t found me…”
“Clark are you sure they can’t hear us?”
“I’ll try, but I’m still not good at it. It’s easiest to hear you or Chloe.”
“I hear three heart beats, I think one of them is asleep its very slow and calm,” Clark said before gripping his head and crying out in pain.
“Clark! Are you alright?”
“Yeah,” Clark said as his hearing adjusted to normal. “Just a car backfired nearby, I wasn’t ready for it.”
“I think I want to see what the training is like. Maybe I should go if I really need to. I can catch up to you guys in Egypt, worse case.”
“We have this weekend to check them out make sure they aren’t psycho.”
“I’ll get the Ian’s on it. They should have something by the morning if they are not too busy with class. I’ll look too. Sorry for ruining your romantic night guys.”
“Chloe, this is important. Never think you have to apologize for coming to us for help,” Lex said seriously. “You are not alone, no matter what this slayer business entails and if they are trying to hurt you they will learn what it means to cross paths with a Luthor.
Clark sighed and above them Willow giggled.
“What is it Will?” Holding up a hand for silence she cast a silence spell on the walls hoping whatever it was that Clark use to hear them wasn’t magic proof.
“That guy wasn’t human?”
“I knew it! He seemed slimy.”
“Not him, the nice one.”
“Really? Good demon?” Xander asked.
“Looks like it, I mean he has a nice rich boyfriend, and when he started to threaten us he kissed him. It was cute. Besides they both want to protect Chloe. They are going to research us.”
“Well thanks to our super techno wicca we have a website,” Buffy said.
“I don’t thinks they would trust our website, but its okay, I already got rid of badness like Faith’s record and the Hemery High blow up thing.”
“So worst thing they can find?”
“We’re from a town that mysteriously sank a few months ago.”
“Okay no big,” Noting Willow’s look Buffy frowned. “There’s a big? What’s the Big?”
“Uh, they said something about a skin walker and Clark could hear our hearts, and is supposed to be some mystical warrior but he doesn’t believe it.”
“Gee I’ve never heard that one before. What is he slay boy?”
“Well skin walking has a Native American origin, so he might be a Native American hero type. I’ll call Giles.”
“As long as I don’t get the funny syphilis,” Xander whined.
“Oh wow, your pretty good at hand to hand already,” Buffy said as she and Chloe stopped sparring under the watchful eye of Lex, Clark, and Willow. Xander had gone off to find a set of useful weapons for more training.
“Yeah, a friend has been training with us.”
“Cool, hmm we should have the vampire talk.”
“Okay so spent the last seven years in Sunnydale California. The Hellmouth, and that’s exactly what it was. The high school was even built right over the exact mouth of hell not of the good. And because of a spell, no one believed anything was going on though we had a higher death rate than cities with millions of people and 13 cemeteries within the town limits.”
“But our graduating class had the lowest death rate ever cause of Buffy,” Willow chimed in.
“Thanks Wills. But anyway here’s the thing, Vamps, stake through the heart and poof, also, holy water, crosses, garlic but its smelly, beheading and fire.”
“You’ve beheaded a vampire?”
“That’s nothing the best was when I used a rocket launcher on the Judge.”
“You killed a Judge?” Lex snapped standing.
“Not a gavelly judge, a demony Judge, he was blue and incinerated humans.”
“A rocket launcher wasn’t over kill?” Lex questioned sitting back down.
“No just enough kill. His pieces were still wiggling around. They were finding tiny judge bits in the mall for days. We had to keep coming back to trap them. They kept trying to get back together.”
“What did you do with the pieces?” Clark asked.
“Giles sent them to the four corners of the earth or something like that. I think he just shipped them to the council and they did it.”
“Hey Lex you have like no good weapons for demon fighting. Half that stuff if I gave it to a slayer would be broken in like two seconds. Not even a good crossbow.”
“What about the guns?”
“While they were great, most things that go bump in the night laugh at guns. A little pointy piece of wood and you’re good. Or an axe. I’m an axe man myself.”
“Oh my God, Chloe you aren’t going to believe what I found,” Alicia stated without preamble appearing in the middle of the training area. “Oh.” She said noticing the trio. “Newbies?”
“Not quite. Alicia this Buffy, the vampire slayer.”
“That sounds really really bad. Buffy the Slayer? Slayer Buffy?” Buffy asked looking around.
“And why is a…vampire slayer here?”
“Turns out I’m a Slayer with super strength and reflexes to fight demons and vampires.”
“Really how’d you find out?”
“Ripped the door off my car.”
“Oh, hey Lex, Clark. Anyway I was in Paris and there was this tomb that had the same symbol as Kyla has in the caves. Have you gone yet?”
“No,” Clark muttered.
“Lex make him go,” Alicia complained. “I mean that symbol was in a Paris church hundred of years old. How is that normal?”
“Cause I’m so normal?” Clark snapped.
“Well maybe if you would stop hiding, and go find out if you really are this Naman person. I mean how many people here have the strength of ten men?” Chloe, Buffy, and Willow raised their hands.
“Willow?” Xander asked.
“It’s a spell, if I ever need to fight,” she explained.
“Okay fine and shoot fire from their eyes?” Alicia snapped. “I don’t believe in coincidence. That symbol would stand out even if you didn’t know why. It didn’t fit with everything else in the church. You better go to those caves before we leave for England or Lex is denying you sex.”
“Work with me Lex.”
“We’ll go to the caves,” Lex said sure Alicia would find a way to make sure they were never alone together.
“Good, well here’s a picture of the drawing, I have to go I left dad in a café and just told him I had to pee. Bye !” Alicia said disappearing in a flash.
“That was interesting,” Xander stated calmly. “So I’m gonna say a, witch, slayer, and one eyed carpenter are not the strangest things that you’ve ever seen.”
“Yeah I think bug boy tops the list of weird.”
“Oh! Oh! Like preying Mantis Lady, she wanted to mate with Xander,” Willow said.
“Yeah Greg wanted to mate with Lana. And he ate his mom.”
“Ew, bug people are so of the ick.”
“I can agree with that,” Chloe said.
“Do you guys nee an extra slayer or two?” Buffy asked.
“Oh we have our own local hero.”
“Someone who can shoot fire from their eyes?” Xander asked with a glance at Clark. “So what kind of demon are you?”
“Demon? I’m not a demon!” Clark yelled.
“Its okay, we know plenty of nice demons, like Spike, Clem, Lorne was nice that one time I met him before he and Angel started running the LA branch of the most evil law firm on the planet.”
“Isn’t that a little bit of an oxymoron? Evil lawyers?”
“No they really are evil; their senior partners are from a hell dimension.”
“Would this firm be Wolf, Ram, and Hart?” Lex asked.
“How do you know? Are they your firm?”
“No, my father’s.”
“Make’s sense your dad’s Satan,” Chloe stated.
“Really? Cause if he is I could so slay him for you.”
“No, but they are close.”
“Evil humans, gotta say not missing that,” Xander said with a sigh. “So Mr. Not a demon what are you?”
“Well you see there was this meteor shower,” Chloe start not trusting Clark’s ability to lie when the scoobies jumped to a conclusion.
“Wow an alien. I think that means we’ve seen everything,” Xander said.
“No Leprechauns, still securely in the not real column,” Buffy said with a pout.
“Cool so interested in world domination or destruction?”
“Okay wanna help train slayers?”
“No,” Lex snapped. “Clark is no one’s glorified punching bag.”
“You can’t be that strong let’s arm wrestle,” Buffy said with a grin and Clark frowned.
“That’s not a good idea,” Clark said nervously.
“Look I know I look small but really really strong. Come on you can’t hurt me. I’ll even use half strength.”
Lex whispered in Clark’s ear and the boy nodded with a sigh not looking interested in the least in doing this.
Clark took a seat and looked over at Lex as he ever so gently clasped Buffy’s hand. Taking Lex’s advice he made his hand immobile glancing back at the billionaire and not noticing Buffy’s start. She looked at the hand out of frustration using both arms to pull even bracing herself against the table amidst Xander and Willow’s laugh.
“Let me try,” Willow said mumbling the spell as she approached an annoyed slayer. With a single finger she pushed his arm down. “Un mixy things.”
“What did you do?” Clark asked shocked.
“A little magic, it was an idea. You and magic don’t mix. Unmixy things. Maybe you guys didn’t have magic where your from.”
“I wouldn’t know,” Clark said bitterly.
“Maybe this cave place will have answers,” Willow said as a flash of magic signaled the appearance of Giles and Dawn.
“Uh hi?” Willow said hiding behind Buffy.
“And what are you children doing here?”
“Um we found a new slayer?” Xander said sheepishly.
“And an alien.”
“Really? Good alien?”
“Yeah cute too,” Buffy added. “But gay.”
“He isn’t cute, he’s freaking hot!”
“Dawn!” Buffy admonished.
“What he is, and pale.”
“Yeah alien right there,” Dawn said pointing to Lex. “I only know one other person that pale and he’s on a blood diet.”
Chloe laughed. “I need to hang out with you guys. “I’m guessing you have to go?”
“Yes these three left their duties behind. And dozens of girls unsupervised. And where are the maps?”
“Well see Giles the spell went all pfft, it took us to Chloe, she’s a slayer so it kinda worked.
“Where are we anyway?” Dawn asked looking at the castle.
“Well in any case. We must return immediately. It was very nice to meet you all and I hope we will be seeing you at our school at some point?”
“Yeah,” Chloe said with a nod.
“Cool here’s a card,” Dawn said pulling it out of her back pocket. “Alright, and I’m going to kill Andrew for this,” she muttered as the scoobies gathered around Dawn. “Beam me up Scottie.”
They vanished in a swirl of blue and green lights.
“Well that was different,” Chloe admitted.
“Vampires and demons and girls built to fight them, different doesn’t cover it.”
“So, what does it feel like to be a superhero?” Clark asked with a grin.
“You tell me Clark.”
“Ha, ha. There is still an unwatched movie waiting.”
“And that is my cue to go home,” Chloe said with a smile. “Have fun!”