Never Never Land pt4

Title: Never Never Land 4/?
Author: Blue Gold
Rating: R
Parings: Spike/Xander, Clark/Lex, Dick/Bruce, Ares/Joxer, Cupid/Strife, etc…
Fandoms: Multi Centered in Buffyverse w/ support from Ultimate Spiderman, DC, Smallville, Xena/Hercules, Ultimate X-Men and a few surprises along the way,
Summary: Xander wakes in a strange place where superhero’s and gods are real, and they all have been captured. For what and by whom has yet to be discovered.
Disclaimer: I don’t own anything.
Author’s Note: For the crossover challenge that can be found here

“Bows and arrows love and mush?” Xander exclaimed. “Aren’t you supposed to be a baby?”

“Bliss steals my arrows one time…” Cupid mutters.


“My son god of joy and happiness, Obvious spawn of Mischief himself, with all the trouble he gets into, Who are you mortal?”

“Xander Harris. Now since you are a god and all can you get us out of these?”

“If you think…”

“Cupid, can you call Strife? I can’t call Ares, but I am just a mortal,” Joxer interjected trying to calm the god and learn more about their situation from someone he trusted.

The blond paused and frowned. “Its like he’s not there.”

“Look as fun as all this getting to know each other is we need to figure out a plan to get out of here. Before whoever took us comes back,” Dick states even as he attempts to work out of his chains.

“Yeah they were creepy,”

“You saw them?”

“Not much to see, All hooded I don’t know if it was a guy a girl or something else,” Xander stated.

“Something else?” Dick questioned.

“Demon, slime monster you know something else. It doesn’t help that this place is so dark. What I wouldn’t do for a wand and some Lumos action.”

When a ball of glowing light appeared over Xander’s head the boy gasped. “Holy crap. That that Potter.”

“What did you just do?” Peter asked.

“Ever heard of Harry Potter?”


“Yeah well see there’s he who must not be name…long story short he’s a wizard. That was one of the fake spells in the books,” Xander states.

“What other ones do you know?” Dick asks.

“Well wingardium leviosa makes things float. But what use would that be?”

“Uh Xander?” Peter calls tilting his head towards Superman.

“Oh! Oh.. wingardium leviosa,” clearing his throat when nothing happened he spoke again. “Wengardium Leviosa,” Shuddering slightly the rosary shook and lifted neatly off of Clark’s neck and headed over to the boy who eyed it before turning his head and having it fly into the darkness.

“What does that do?” Cupid asked as the boy let out a moan.

“Just wait for it,” Xander said with a grin as Clark blearily opened his eyes. Pulling down without realizing it the chains broke in his hands.

“Regular Herc isn’t he?” Cupid stated startling the boy.

“Uh…” Clark said beginning a lie until he got a good look at Cupid.

“For those of you just joining our show, We have a god, a caped crusader, a not so caped crusader, yours truly and that guy, so be a great old superhero and snap some chains k?”

“Superhero?” Clark asked even as he began to free Cupid, wings first.

“Wait aren’t you Superman?”

“What? Who’s that?” Clark asked surprised that he was using his powers so openly; But then again one guy had wings and the other had an orb of light floating over his head. Finishing releasing Cupid he stared as the god spread his wings relieving them from the awkward position before heading straight to Joxer and trying to break the chains frowning when he could not, nor could he summon a power ball to blast the chains away. Instead he waited for Clark to finish freeing Peter and move on to Xander and the rest of the group as Xander continued to speak.

“That’s you, you know Clark Kent, mild mannered reporter by day, Superman defender of the great city of Metropolis,” Xander said as he rubbed his wrists.

“Reporter? I’m just an intern at the Daily Planet.”

“How old are you?” Dick asked.

“Nineteen,” Clark states.

“Nineteen? You’re never Nineteen in the comics. That is so totally Superboy territory.”

“Comics? I don’t understand what you mean.”

“You know what a comic book is right?” Xander asks and Clark nods.

“Lex has the entire warrior angel set.”

“Lex? Lex Luthor?” Xander asks drawing Peter and Dick’s attention while Joxer and Cupid have their own conversation.

“Yeah, I tease him about it all the time,” Clark states with a fond smile.

“You tease Lex Luthor? Nemesis, mortal enemy, to Superman and all around sociopath?” Peter asked shocked.

Clark’s expression darkened as he looked on the other two boys. “Lex is great, I wish people would stop assuming he’s his father. And who is this Superman person, I mean what kind of name…”

“Ok, as fascinating as this is we need to get out of here before they come back,” Dick stated as the four of them glanced at the other pair.


“Are you sure?”

“I can’t call him, I can’t sense him. I can’t even sense the passion you have for dad and I can Always sense that. I though it was the chains but it may be this place or whoever took us. Joxer I’m a mortal with wings.”

“I can’t get in touch with Ares either.”

“It may be that this place is shielded, but my powers are gone for now.”

“So we need to get outside,” Joxer said just to have it echo from the other group.

“Can you expand that light?” Dick asked Xander.

“Uh…Lumos er Lumos?” Xander attempted and was surprised when a second ball of light appeared. Followed quickly by a third and both began zooming around the boy as the first ball remained perched above his head.

“Well when they brought in Spidey they came down stairs over…” Xander stopped as one of the balls of light flew in that direction and illumined the clear lack of stairs and helped to show something of the sheer vastness of the area.

“Looks like we were just the first,” Dick remarked grimly as he took in more chains waiting to be filled.

“Or the last,” Xander whispered.

Dick looked over at Xander and wondered about the loud fool he seemed to play. And his belief that he had no reason to be with the group. Even with his magical abilities, as sparse as they were could be of great use.

“Uh stare much?” Xander snapped at Dick.

Without realizing it the group had formed a circle, all facing each other as they tried to figure out what to do now. Xander watched as the light faded as it traveled further and tried to recall the spell to bring things to you.

“Accio!’ The light came zooming back and Xander grinned. These spells were so much easier than Willows. And he had never been so glad that he ignored his friends read the books and enjoyed them immensely. He had even caught Spike reading The Half-Blood Prince and muttering to himself about that bleeding idiot Potter.

“You wouldn’t have one to make a door now would you?” Dick asked wryly already knowing the answer.

“You think I would be doing this? What we need is a portkey or some Floo powder.”

“A what and some who powder?” Peter asked lost.

“Just some modes of transportation from the books, Let me think, there has to be something.” Xander said frowning as he tried to think of some other spell.

“Well?” Dick asked impatiently.

“Keep nagging and I’ll remember the unforgivable curses, boy blunder,” Xander snapped.

“Uh, fighting is not really going to get us out of here.”

“Joxer’s right,” Cupid chimed in.

“Well, hey uh…Clark? This is so strange, where I’m from you’re older than me. But, can you just look through the walls and see a way out?” Dick asked and Clark stared. “We’ve hung out, I didn’t know you were Clark Kent, I just knew Superman.”


“Lois Lane, I believe cornered the market on that name.” Dick answered.

“Remind me to kill her when I get home,” Clark muttered looking around as he muttered Superman over and over again.

“Whatever you do don’t tell him about the outfit,” Xander said in a stage whisper.

“The bright red underwear,” Peter said with a snicker. “Who thinks underwear on the outside of your clothes is cool?”

“Uh Peter…picture Robin for a sec…”

“Oh…riiiiggghttt. Hey are those your legs or tights? You can’t really tell in the comics.”

“My legs,” Dick said pink at the ears.

“Do you understand what they are talking about?” Joxer asked Cupid.

“I have no idea. I hope they are not mad,” Cupid replied eyeing them warily.

“Its okay you get a grown up costume,” Xander added as he patted Dick on the shoulder.

“There!” Clark pointed his vision normalizing. “It looks like a path that leads up to some woods.”

“Could you tell if its day or night?” Xander asked coming to a conclusion he hoped was wrong.

“Night maybe.”

“Oh that’s just great, the forbidden forest at night, why not just set up Shelob and Aragog for a dinner date and serve us up as the main course.”

“The giant spider? From Lord of the Rings?” Clark asked.
“Yeah and the giant spider and all its giant spider kids from Harry Potter. If that kind of magic works here we might be there. If we can get to Hogwarts we can get Dumbledore to help us I guess. Otherwise pray we meet a centaur before the spiders,” Xander added not noticing how everyone was hanging on his every word. “Well what are you waiting for? They don’t call you the man of steel for nothing.”

Clark blushed and Dick couldn’t take his eyes off this younger happier version of Superman. One that grinned when talking about Lex Luthor and spoke as if they had a strong tie that wasn’t about destroying each other. He watched as Clark walked over to the wall X-Rayed it yet again before punching it three times and having a decent sized hole appear.

Suddenly moving faster and faster until he was simply a blur a human sized hole appeared in the wall as Clark slowed to speeds that were able to be followed by the naked eye.

“That is just so cool,” Peter said in awe and Xander just nodded as Clark brushed his jacket off.

“Maybe I should go first since I can’t really be hurt?” Clark asked.

“Yeah except by the Kryptonite we already know they have and your other weakness magic. Dude I could kick your ass, if I remembered any of the spells from that darn duel.”

“Hey! Come back!” Peter suddenly exclaimed stopping Joxer and Cupid in their tracks.

“I will not sit here and wait to be eaten or whatever else this creature wants. You can stay and argue and discuss capes,” Cupid snapped and the others frowned though they all started to move towards the makeshift exit.

With that they ended up with Cupid and Joxer in the lead, Clark following next with Xander, Peter, and Dick bringing up the rear. They moved along the tunnel that curved upwards and opened out into a cave.

Once inside the cave they all turned to Xander the only source of light in this strange place. Realizing this Xander repeated Lumos twice more, creating a ball of light for Dick and Clark to share, for himself and Peter and one for Cupid and Joxer.

Moving in a line of groups of two they made their way out of the cave. Xander scanned every direction trying to look over the trees.

“Clark you have the flying thing down right?”

“Flying?” Clark squeaked, “I float sometimes in my sleep. I don’t really like heights.”

“But…but…that’s just…” Dick stammered.

“Ok…So Cupid, can you still fly?” Xander asked Cupid.

“Yes. Why?”

“Can you go up and see if you can see any castles so we know which way to go?”

“I will go look.”

“So no heights huh?” Peter asked with a grin.

“I’m working on it. Besides Lex is way too stubborn, he keeps making me stand on the penthouse balcony when he hates heights just as much as I do. It’s stupid.”

“How did you two become friends?” Dick asked.

“Well I saved his life. And yeah the billionaire and the farm boy have a lot in common.”

“I bet as much as the billionaire and the circus boy, but we make it work. Has Lex ever mentioned Bruce?”

“Bruce Wayne? Yeah, they were really good friends in boarding school, odd ones out, he’s on some kind of journey to find himself. He’s like in Asia; Lex is having a fit because he hasn’t sent him so much as a post card since his letter telling him he was going to Asia for a while.”

“If that’s the tour I think it is he’ll be gone close to a decade,” Dick said stunned to learn that there was about a decade separating their realities. Superman wouldn’t make his appearance for years yet, short of mysterious savings from some shadowy hero. He wouldn’t even try to understand how Lex Luthor went to boarding school with Bruce Wayne.

Cupid came back down then and shook his head. “I looked in all directions there are no palaces to be found. There is a road in that direction. I think it may be safer than staying in these woods so close to the place we were captured.”

“Makes sense to me, Cupid,” Joxer said with an easy smile. The others all followed the pair’s lead to the road. They walked for nearly an hour before reaching the road that Cupid had spied from afar.

Xander approached a sign in the road read it and frowned. “Okay guys, I am officially wigging now.”
“What is it?” Peter asked.

“Read the sign.”

Xander took a step back and Peter looked at the sign that had arrows pointing in all directions including up and down. Reading the down arrow he blinked and read a few more. Clark and Dick joined in and they all looked at the sign until Cupid pushed them aside to see what the big deal was.

“What is this? Twilight? Dream? Rangnarok? Enchanted Forest? Armageddon? Infinite Crisis? Destiny’s Garden? Menzoberranzan? What are these places?”

“I don’t know about some of those places but most of them are the end of the world or more dangerous then I want to get up close and personal with. I’m not sure what Destiny’s Garden is but it sounds like the safest place. Dream can go either way.”

“I would think dreams would be safer, I mean if it’s a dream it can’t hurt you right?”

“If there’s one thing I’ve learned living on the hell mouth is that kind of thinking will get you killed or eaten, or eaten and killed, Imagine your worst nightmare coming to life.” Xander said.
Some of the other members of the group visibly shuddered as Cupid and Dick frowned. And Peter nodded.

“I remember that episode, oh god that was real for you,” Peter said suddenly truly understanding the implications of Xander standing before him.

“We were probably safer in the woods,” Xander muttered.

At that point a howling began in the direction they came from and Xander groaned. “I can’t believe I just said that, Now we run!” Xander said running in the direction of Destiny’s garden as he was facing it at the time.

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