Never Never Land pt6

Title: Never Never Land 6/?
Author: Blue Gold
Rating: R
Parings: Spike/Xander, Clark/Lex, Dick/Bruce, Ares/Joxer, Cupid/Strife, etc…
Fandoms: Multi Centered in Buffyverse w/ support from Ultimate Spiderman, DC, Smallville, Xena/Hercules, Ultimate X-Men and a few surprises along the way,
Summary: Xander wakes in a strange place where superhero’s and gods are real, and they all have been captured. For what and by whom has yet to be discovered.
Disclaimer: I don’t own anything.
Author’s Note: For the crossover challenge that can be found here http://brain-insane.com/beyond/contest2006.php

Buffy snorted. “I think you’re confused. Xander doesn’t have any kind of power. He gets the snacks.”

“All hail donut king,” Xander muttered a tad bit annoyed at the slayer and felt some satisfaction when his last hyena a little more then silver wisps jumped at the Slayer though it simply swirled past her, or Xander thought until he saw the little pinpricks of blood on the arm she had raised to defend herself.

“Xan was that what I think it was?” Spike asked.

“Only if you read Harry Potter,” he said with a wink.

” A Patronus?” Dawn exclaimed.

‘Or six,” Xander said shrugging as he looked over at Peter to see who he was reunited with. And was happy to see the boy with a grin as wide as his own.

“Stop that,” Logan snapped and Peter’s grin widened.

“Spike who are all these other guys?” Xander asked.

“Oh you will love this one pet, the bald one is old evil and dastardly himself, Lex Luthor,” Xander stared as the man continued to whisper to Clark his hand resting gently on his arm.

“Wow.”

“Not done pet, that one there is…”

“Batman? That is just too cool. Hey Pete, who’s the guy?”

“This…is uh…Logan…”

“Logan? As in don’t get me near a metal detector, slice and dice aka wolverine?” Xander asked and Peter simply nodded. “Cool.”

“Xander,” Giles interrupted, “if you are not too busy, could you translate for our straggler here?” He asked indicating Erestor.

“Sure though I don’t get why everyone can’t understand him it sounds like English to me.”

“Well its not, if you could just ask him what happened.”

“So, apparently I am the only one that can understand you. How did you end up in the big creepy forest?”

Arching a brow, Erestor looked at the boy. “I was walking towards the woods to meet my love, I was going to convince him to come to the valley, I’ve told him dozens of times, elves are elves, but I digress. Some figure attempted to attack me, I suppose they expected me to be docile. But even as we battled the setting changed, and I was in the strange woods. Seeing my blows were having no effect I ran hoping that I would return back to where I should be but instead I ran into your group.”

“Thanks. He said…”

“I know what he said, I can understand him now,” Giles said eyeing Xander with a strange expression on his face.

“Who is this lover?” Giles asked sipping his tea.

“Glorfindel?” Dawn asked.

“Glor…” Erestor looked ready to gag. “We’re like brothers, valar, Glorfindel.” He shuddered and shook his head. “His name is Drizzt.”

“Drizzt? I don’t remember that one from the movies.”

“Your lover is Drizzt? Owner of Icing Death and Twinkle? Dark Elf with a heart Drizzt?” Willow asked. “I always figured him and Cattie Brie would…”

Erestor snorted, “I suppose if he liked women that could be a possibility.”

“I don’t remember any dark elves in Lord of the Rings…what’s a Dark Elf anyway?”

“I’ll lend you the comic later,” Xander called to Dawn, and sensing the glare from Willow he added. “But the books are better.”

Xander moved towards the pairs Spike shadowing the boy wondering what he was planning on doing.

Xander stopped glanced at Spike who was directly behind him and grinned. “Clark could you come here a second?”

“Okay,” Clark said as he parted from Lex’s side.

“See there’s this chip in Spike’s head can you see it?” Xander asked as he focused on a power that would be perfect for this task grinning when his foot sank into the floor before he pulled it out.

“Yeah, its right here,” Clark said pointing to a point in the back of Spike’s head,

“In deep?” Xander asked.

“No it looks like its right under the skull.”

“Good.”
“Pet, what are you thinking?”

“Shh Spike,” Xander said reaching into Spike’s head with his now intangible hand, feeling the chip and making it intangible as well before pulling out. “Just call me Shadowcat,” Xander said with a grin as his hand and the now removed chip became solid again.

He held out the chip to Spike and the vampire glared. “Warn me! Bloody stuck a hand in!” He exclaimed whapping Xander on the arm than standing stunned when he didn’t have his usual seizure staring at the chip in Xander’s hand.

He stared at it a moment longer before crushing it between his fingers and not so casually going to listen to what the ‘gods’ were discussing in such hushed tones while looking at his Xander.

“I have a question,” Lex said having watched the scene. “You have unlimited power yes?” Xander shrugged. “And I’m assuming what you just did is a skill you witnessed from someone or something else.”

“Yeah, Shadowcat, an Xmen at least until she moves and gets the dragon, what is up with that?” Xander said glancing at Logan who looked at Xander then back at Peter and shook his head.

Lex continued unperturbed. “So why did you not use Clark’s ability and this Shadowcat’s persons in tandem.”

“Huh, didn’t think of it. I wasn’t even sure this would work what if I just hit Spike?” Xander said. “I was just following the Potter trend.”

“I see.”

“Xander! Did you just…you can’t just take out Spike’s chip!” Buffy exclaimed finally catching on. “Put it back!”

“Uh no.”

“He’s going to kill people.” Buffy said pulling out her ever ready stake, Both Spike and Xander rolled their eyes.

“Children!”: Hecate said with a clap as she broke the huddle with the gods. Nearby a disgruntled Spike wondered why no matter how close he got their voices were just out his range, which shouldn’t be possible as he could hear the bat and birdboy taking stock of the situation as they thought they were forgotten in the corner.

“Since they are targeting something so particular, we now know where to look but finding you is not enough to stop this. We have to find their home dimension. This will prove difficult, even with an agent of chaos at our side. Even if we can find the right dimension. It will be their home, their rules; which is the only time your unique gifts come in handy until you are properly trained.”

“Hey I took out Spike’s chip.”

“Yes, that was due to the sheer chaos surrounding the event. Your escape sent the crossroads into chaos; you drew the attention of Delirium. Delirium of all things, Even as you did it were you not concerned about if it was right?”
“Yeah, but…”

“Chaos still drives your powers, and that can make them very unpredictable. Destroying the world with a thought would be the least of your problems. You need to control it.”

“Control chaos? Isn’t that…”

“Alexander, Alexander is either an agent or chaos incarnate. Either way, his powers can not make things rational. If you asked…I prefer Alexander but for the sake of confusion I will continue to use your shortenings. If you ask Xander to neaten this room something will be wrong when he is done. Something that will cause more trouble than leaving it a mess.”

“So is Spike in Danger?” Xander asked worried now that he had taken out the chip.

“Hopefully enough chaos surrounded the event that it will be fine. Your own indecision, William’s own worry, and Buffy’s irrationality are much more messy than if the chip had remained.”

“I don’t understand, is this power evil then?”

“It does not consider consequences and has a mischievous streak a mile wide. You may be compelled to do things….”noticing she was losing most of the room including Xander she sighed. “For now continue what you have been doing, use powers that do not exist in the world you are currently in as an extra precaution.”

“So I shouldn’t imagine myself with the…”:

“XANDER!” Willow, Buffy, and Dawn exclaimed surprised. “Hellmouth,” they reprimanded and the boy had the decency to blush.

“I’ll just stick to comic books,” he muttered. “And Harry Potter.”

“Now that that little thing is out of the way, We need to get to work to see what we know about these creatures already, besides they seem to have a problem with people who don’t want to bed women.”

“They’re republicans aren’t they?” Dawn muttered.

“Dawnie, that would mean the President was smart enough to do this,” Willow said with a small smile.

“Not republicans then.”

“No,”

“Is Tara safe?” Willow suddenly asked. “I mean she’s visiting family…not that creepy family. Good family, we checked.”

“For now, men seem to be the main focus of this or these creatures. I think its best to keep her away so they do not think to focus on her.”

Willow nodded. “Excuse me Goddess,” Giles began finally pulling away from Erestor who had been filling in some blanks on Tolkien’s work for him even as he kept half an ear on what was going on.

“What are we going to do with all these displaced people? If we send them back don’t we run the risk of this happening again?”

“Who said I was sending them back? We may need an army and this is a great place to start.”

It was Giles’ turn to blink.

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