Those Darn Kids pt1

Title: Those Darn Kids
Author: Blue Gold
Rating: R
Parings: Willow/Tara, Buffy/Spike, Anya/Draco, Faith/?, Xander/?, Giles/?
Fandoms: Anita Blake, Harry Potter, Supernatural, and a dash of Herc/Xena
Summary: The powers that be wanted balance and they would have had it too if it wasn’t for those darn kids. So they get rid of those kids and their vampire too. At least they tried.


Balance that was what they were there for. Not good not evil. Balance. That was what many did not understand. What they never explained to their champions, why the slayers were the way they were never to live more than a year or two. Until this unremarkable slayer, was revived by the prophecy breaker. In their millennia this was only the second time the balance had been thrown into such chaos it had been done by a pair of demi gods and mortals.

“You place them on par with the Greeks?” He asked and she shook her head.

“Look at them, she has died twice, irreparably damaging the slayer line. There are two active slayers and you know what will happen if they continue on this path.”


“Yes, not balance, a world of good, free of petty evil. It will not be during their lives or their children’s lives but what are a few centuries to us? They have banished the first of all dark things to the furthest reaches. They do not know what they do. They will eradicate the darker things. It will take millennia upon millennia until evil returns to the world.”

“Each one of them, even the ones that leave. The vampire will turn an old one to good. We had to ascend the cheerleader. And still there is no balance. The werewolf breaks the laws of the very world by his nature.”

“They must be separated, They must be contained. Their damage dispersed.”

“Their actions, with the first and sealing the hellmouths would bring forth utopia.”

“How will we do this? You think this is the point?”

“Yes, I have already changed some minor things, the true slayer is there as well. The others may remain. The souled one will never face black thorn. Without the vampire the old one will destroy them. It will not turn to good.”

“Are you sure? We can not see the path of old ones.”

“I do not see our champion facing the black thorn. It is the natural order.”

“I had hoped to get more use out of that one he was amusing. The souled one will have to suffice”

“The portal is opening we must send them now.”

“The three must be separated.”

“I have found places that are suited to them. Where they will not stir the tide with their natures. They will not cause such damage apart They will be powerless and mortal”


“Oh that’s so not gonna happen.”

“You got that right cutie, after what they did to my Erin, for their precious balance. Their worried about upsetting the balance yeah right they just want to stay in power, everyone forgets about little dumb Dite, you ready for this?”

“I am.”

“Alright, let’s throw a wrench in their plans huh?”

Spike had yet to see that the portal had begun to open, even with a broken leg he was dragging himself up the structure built by madmen to make his way to Dawn. He had promised Joyce and he would keep that promise.

He reached the top, just as Buffy ran to jump. Finding strength he didn’t know he had he made his way to the top edge catching a foot as she attempted to enter the portal.

“Spike! Let go you don’t understand,” Buffy yelled over the crackling portal as Dawn approached them both. With a sudden lurch of the unstable structure the three fell through the portal as stray bolts hit their friends.

Xander was pulling himself to his feet when he was pulled up by Faith, as Willow and Tara were already using magic to free Anya. A bolt hit the three girls leaving behind only the scent of rain. They had no time to react when another bolt, took Giles, Xander, and Faith from this reality as well.


“Hell dimensions?”

“To lead an uprising? There is no reason to make them heroes. They are all on mundane worlds, no magic, no demons, simple worlds with humans killing humans nothing else.”


“That’s what you think buddy,” Cordelia snarked smiling at the blond at her side. “You think it will work?” She asked.

“Oh yeah, and I know just where to send this little toy too. Your boy will put it to good use,” the goddess said with a smile.

“I can’t wait till they come back.”

“Let’s see what they do.”


“Potter, Harry.”

The hush that fell over the hall was immediate as all eyes tried getting a look at the boy who live short of one red head who for reasons she couldn’t understand thought it be much more impressive if he had died and come back, twice.

She was so absorbed she almost missed the call of her name.

“Rosenberg, Willow.”

The hat settled on her head and began whispering.

“Oh…another one, in the wrong place, but you are special. I know just what to about their precious balance.”

“GRIFFENDOR!” The hat roared.

Willow grinned not noticing the Hufflepuff or Slytherin that stared at her a moment trying to place the familiarity. The Slytherin turned to the nearest first year, “who’s the redhead?”

“Muggle born,” he snorted, what was your surname? “Emerson, Anya.”

“Your family did not side with the dark lord.”

“That loser why? D’Hoffrin was much more powerful.”


Anya paused searching her mind. “I have no idea. When are they going to serve food in this dump. I would get better service in a tavern.”

“Wi…will…willow…” the Hufflepuff stammered wondering why she felt she knew the newly sorted witch.


“Jean-Claude what do you want?”

The vampire looked at Anita and held back a sigh. “The master of Los Angels, wants to come visit.”

“Visit? Why? What’s he after?”

“He claims it is because his Ulfric, has heard a few things about the werewolves here and Dawn would like to see the arc.”

“Who is Dawn? His human servant?”

“Non,” was Jean Claude’s reply. “His human companion as he likes to call her has earned a similar reputation to you. Without guns on the west coast. She is called the Slayer.”

“Slayer? No guns? And an Ulfric? Are they…”

“They are not a triumvirate. She is not even his human servant. That is not what concerns me. He is a day walker.”

“A day what?”

“He is the last of his line, and he does not sleep like we do. He would burn if he entered the sun, but like a mortal he can be woken from his sleep. Belle tried to have him once and he laughed. The Ardeur does nothing to him.”

“Can’t you refuse him?” Anita asked.

“I would but for two reasons, read the end of the letter, where his companion added a small note.”

“Hi Buffy here, I here the executioner is a friend of yours, wouldn’t mind talking to her, maybe going shopping, and it be nice to know if anyone else is having these totally wiggin dreams about a lady sleeping. Like why is that even scary? But I really don’t want her to wake up but, if you’re the girl with the black hair we’ll we gotta meet. You kinda looked like it in the picture and you had an awesome knife in my dream I had this really cool axe maybe you’ve seen it. Oh gotta go, Spike really hates it when I steal his letters and adds to them and I don’t think Dawn can distract him anymore. Bye. XOXO”

“Is she serious?”

“We have no way to be sure. But if she is having dreams about the sweet mother where you are involved I think we should give them a chance. St. Louis is far from Los Angles, it would make no sense for them to make a grab at our territories and he has no ties to the council. The head of his line was killed nearly 600 years ago and for a while he was quite mad as well as the only survivor. He has been on the west coast since before the Americans.”

“And this Buffy?”

“She has been rumored about only for the last 4 or so years.”


“Nothing. But it is said she is human, and well protected. At the moment she is attending a private high school with children of the rich and famous.”

“What is his animal to call?”

Jean Claude fell silent and his entire body bled of life until it was cold stone standing there.

“Jean Claude? What is it wolves?”




“Hyenas?” She asked realizing this could be the most damaging to their group.

“No Anita.”

That stopped Anita cold. Jean Claude only used her name on two occasions when he was scared or when they were in terrible danger.

“It is only a rumor,” he said softly.

“What, there isn’t another big were group.”

“Vampire’s can call more than weres.”

“Like the siren? What else is there to call?”


“He can call demons? Demons? And he’s left alive?”

“During his madness, the council sent assassins after him. The story claims that a nearby dark coven had raised a demon. The demon came to his aid and destroyed the vampires. It then took him inside for the coming dawn. The next day he took a ship to America.”

“And the demon?”

“No one knows if it was true. There were no survivors, yet this story trickled back to Belle.”

“He can’t summon them though? So as long as no one summons a demon we’ll be fine.”

“Yes ma petite.”

“When do they come?”

“Three days.”


“Welcome to the road house honey what can I get you?”

“Anything you got that’s solid and hot.”

“We have some roast beef, burgers, and Ash’s chilli,” Ellen said as she wondered if this young boy was a hunter or just passing through they got some strays every once in a while though they were usually truckers.”

“Three burgers and two cokes oh make those three cheeseburgers. Fries?”

“Sure, coming right up. Jo!” She called parroting the order to the back of the bar where he assumed there was a kitchen.

“Turning his head he glanced at the door.”

“Waiting for someone?”

“Yeah we had to split up. We figured meeting here would be the best.”

“We’re pretty much off the beaten path how’d you find us?”

“Oh, we were nearby so we figured it was about time we went to this place G-man harps about all the time.”

“G-man?” She asked as a leggy brunette walked into the bar and nearly every hunter’s eyes trained on her and the leather pants. The boy didn’t even turn.

“She’s wearing the leather pants isn’t she?” He asked with a sigh.

“Yes. Your friend?”


“So this is the place that has old ripper all hot and bother?” Faith asked sliding into a booth beside Xander.

True silence fell on the bar then.

“You know Rupert?”

“Yeah, took in a crazy kid with an axe and a girl with a knife and well…” Xander shrugged.

“You two are Lady death and her knight?” A hunter asked from a table not too far away.

“They really call us that?” Faith said with a snort.

“Guess so.”

“But you two are so young! You have more kills than hunters who have been doing this for decades. How old are you?”

“19, Xander stated calmly. 20 soon.”

Faith mutter something that sounded suspiciously like 17 before her eyes settled on the three cheese burgers placed before them. Eyeing them Xander slid two plates towards her before devouring his own.

“So we heard some brothers had some demon troubles,” Faith said around her first burger.

“Oh the Winchester boys.”
“That be them,” Xander said though he swallowed before he spoke. “Giles said he really liked their old man and he wanted to help. But you know the whole retired thing.”

“Well I have no idea when those boys will take it upon themselves to drop in.”

“Got an idea where they are?”
“Last I heard Illinois.”

“Hmm, we’ll head that way. Anything to kill between here and there?” Faith asked already on her second burger.

“I’ll see if Ash has anything new. But since the brothers went that way its been pretty quiet.”

“Hmm, seems someone is trying to break our record,” Xander said with a grin.
“We’ll find them.”

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